“Our bodies are our gardens, to which our wills are gardeners.” William Shakespeare, Othello
How are you tending your garden these days? Do you water it and prune it regularly? Or is it overrun with weeds, its blossoms chewed up by bugs and wilting?
I’m not sure if I’m writing this post more for me or for you. After all, I’ve been incredibly stressed and looking for an outlet for it.
Sometimes I feel like a bit of a fraud. I offer all these pieces of wisdom, and lately, I just can’t seem to get my life together.
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Writing can be incredibly therapeutic. That’s why I recommend journaling. There is something about writing things down that just helps you think more clearly. It helps you declutter that brain of yours and make sense of the way you’re feeling. You can dust off some of the cobwebs, and begin to make your mental space fresh, clean, and orderly.
Whether this post is for me, or for you, I hope we both get a lot out of it.
What is self care?
Simply put, self care is any sort of activity by which we are taking care of ourselves. Sounds easy, right? Well, yes and no.
Yes, it is a very easy to understand concept. It sounds like it should be as intuitive as riding a bike after years of not doing so.
At the same time, self care can be a bit challenging. There are a few different factors to consider.
- What sort of rest does your body actually need? (Check out this book for some really great insight on that: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity)
- Activities that are pleasurable vs. restorative (In my case, spending a night out with friends is pleasurable but not restorative.)
- The root cause of needing self care (Once you come up with your list of effective self care activities, it might be time to examine what in your life is making you stressed in the first place.)
Why it’s critical
Human beings are simultaneously strong and fragile creatures. We can withstand so much physical and emotional torment (hello, anyone who’s ever given birth!) But at the same time, stress has a way of chipping away at us.
Picture the windshield on your car. Have you ever had a tiny rock fly into it while you’re driving? The rock might seem super small, but it creates a small hole with a web of splinters around it.
What happens if another small rock flies into the same spot? Then another? And another?
At the end of that drive, your windshield is on its way to being completely irreparable.
Our psyches are a lot like that. Little stressors in our life chip away at the windshield of our mind until we can no longer see where we’re going.
That’s why it is so important to be proactive and take care of ourselves before we lose all sense of who we are.
10 amazing ideas for self care
I wanted to share a bunch of simple (and practical) self care ideas that do not cost a lot of money. Believe me, I would enjoy the hell out of an elaborately planned day at the spa.
But the problems with using activities like that as self care are:
- It’s not a sustainable practice
- It’s not making any progress toward an emotionally healthier life
Self care activities need to be sustainable. They need to be things you can do on a daily basis to restore your mind after a long day. They need to be financially sensible, and things that don’t require advance appointments or lots of planning.
Self care also needs to be something that puts you on a path toward better emotional health. Spa days are fun and relaxing, but they aren’t action steps you can take on a regular basis with tangible effects.
1- Unfollow/block/unfriend
This is one that can be hard to force yourself to do, but once you do, it feels so good.
We are a generation that spends an ever increasing amount of time on social media. I am not a social media hater. There is so much good that can be accomplished with it. But you have to admit, it can also be harmful to our mental health.
Everyone has that person (or people) on their friends list that makes then feel bad about themselves. Maybe their posts stir up sentiments of jealousy. Maybe they are an ex that we had a toxic relationship with.
Relationships on social media are often more complicated than necessary. Here’s a handy chart to help you decide what the appropriate step to take is:
2- Start journaling
As I mentioned earlier, journaling can have so many positive impacts on your mental health. It gives you an almost unparalleled outlet for your negative emotions.
Journaling can take so many different forms. Here are some ideas if you don’t know where to get started:
- Free association
- Positive affirmations
- Your bucket list/goals list
- A letter to a younger version of you
- A letter to a loved one you miss
This therapy is so great because the possibilities are virtually endless. And so are the benefits!
I love this gratitude journal! It is a great tool for getting started with your journaling practice:
3- Epsom salt baths
Taking regular epsom salt baths are not just soothing and relaxing, but they also have fantastic benefits for your physical self as well.
Here are just a few of them:
- Good for skin
- Helps calm digestion
- Soothes sore muscles
Do you notice how when you feel better physically you tend to feel better emotionally, and vice versa?
Health needs to take a holistic approach for it to be the most effective, and so does self care.
Snag a bag of my favorite epsom salt here:
Amazon Brand – Solimo Epsom Salt Soak, Magnesium Sulfate USP, 8 Pound
4- Make a list of positive affirmations
Positive affirmations get kind of a bad rep. But to be fair (and only speaking for myself), their intent is not to play the denial game. You shouldn’t feel like you need to hide your mental illness to be accepted.
But science, guys. More and more science is emerging that shows our brain’s elasticity, and the power of positive thinking.
Keep in mind, it is a practice, not a magic fix. Do not be discouraged if you spend one hour of your day trying to think positively and find you are still mentally ill. (Only a little bit of sarcasm intended there.)
It does work. You just need to make it a daily ritual— and be patient before you can expect to see results.
Here’s a great gift— for you!
5- Make a check up appointment for the coming year
Being proactive about our health is so important. One easy thing we can do is make a phone call today to schedule a January physical with your primary care physician.
I recommend making a list of the following questions:
- How much water should I be drinking?
- How often should I exercise?
- What lab work does he/she recommend?
- What are some good supplements you can take?
If you see a psychiatrist, I also recommend starting off the new year with a med check. Write down any symptoms you might be experiencing, and they can tweak your meds accordingly.
6- Get some exercise
On the subject of taking care of yourself physically, I cannot stress enough the importance or regular physical exercise.
I hear this a lot: The reason I don’t exercise is because I’m chronically ill and it’s too hard.
Listen. I get it. Your health concerns are completely valid and living with them is a challenge. When you feel sick, and have no energy, the last thing you want to do is exercise.
However, I think if you can start slow (which I firmly believe everyone can), you will begin to see gradual improvement.
If you’re a 9-5er, take a walk around the office building on your lunch break. Keep a set of light hand weights and do some bicep curls during your phone conference.
There are literally an endless amount of ways to work activity into your day. You just have to make it a priority.
Use this planner to track your activity:
7- Try to be moderate
One of the best and worst parts of the holiday season is that it is a time of excess. This can be good in that we are surrounded by friends, generosity, delicious food, warm aromas, and late nights of laughter and merrymaking.
The downside? It is so easy to overdo it. We eat too much. We stay up way later than we ought to. If you’re like me, you sometimes drink too much champagne after the kids go to bed.
No? Just me?
It’s good to enjoy yourself, but attempting to stay moderate can only benefit you. Instead of stay up drinking all night with your rowdy friends, call it quits around midnight and make sure to drink plenty of water.
And maybe eat a salad or two to get some nutrients.
8- Go out of your comfort zone and socialize
This is one that is going to be highly dependent on your innate personality. I think for the mentally ill, surrounding ourselves with loved ones benefits us so much. It shows us how supported we are, and it helps us temporarily forget our troubles.
But like I mentioned earlier, excessive socializing (more than 2-3 hours at a time in my opinion) can be difficult for introverts. It takes time to find the balance between feeling restored and feeling “people’d out.”
Once you find that balance, try to make it a priority to socialize once a week, for whatever length of time your health allows.
9- Buy yourself a gift
Yes, this one is a little frivolous, but I had to include it. It doesn’t have to be anything super expensive, but pick out something that will really bring you joy.
Pick out your nicest wrapping paper, shiniest bow, and attach a card addressed to you— from YOU. Tell yourself what an amazing job you did this past year and all the rockstar things you will accomplish in 2020.
Show yourself a little love occasionally.
Here are my 5 favorite books of all time. Books are one of my favorite things to receive as gifts.
10-Practice proper hygiene
This one sounds like something I shouldn’t even have to say. But for those facing huge amounts of stress— especially when they’re already mentally ill— basic hygiene rituals seems impossible.
I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect that you are going to look runway ready every single day but here are basic things that ought to be done daily:
- Do some kind of cleansing ritual. Whether it’s a full length shower with shampoo, conditioner, and shaving cream— or just a two minute rinse off
- Wash your face
- Brush your teeth
- Comb your hair
- Put on deodorant
No fancy hairstyles or complicated makeup routines necessary. But sometimes getting back to basics really helps you feel better about yourself.
The benefits of taking care of you
Make sure you take care of yourself this holiday season. We all have a lot going on, and it’s super easy to get burned out.
Think you might be burned out but not sure? Here are some classic signs to look out for:
Every day is a bad day.
Caring about your work or home life seems like a total waste of energy.
You’re exhausted all the time.
The majority of your day is spent on tasks you find either mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming.
You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated.
(Source: Burnout Prevention & Treatment)
Be proactive, and remember: Sometimes you need to come first.
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Related posts: What Self Care Really Is, 5 Simple Ways to Avoid Burnout, How Physical and Mental Health Are Related, What You Can Do to Relieve Stress Today, 50 Must Have Mental Health Resources
Self care is so important, especially right now! These are great tips!
So many great self help ideas. I like how you explain the difference between pleasurable and self help. That is really something I had to let sink in and probably why I still felt depleted a few days after a night out. I’ve begun to walk every morning and have found that time alone with my thoughts in nature to be energizing for my body, mind and soul.
Hey Jennifer, it’s really helped me too! I used to think that was the sort of thing I was “supposed” to be doing to unwind. But it doesn’t suit me. Thanks for reading!
Beautifully written! I love those tips. Exercise and journaling are definitely my personal favorites when it comes to self care!
Thanks for sharing.
Hey Eva, so glad you found it helpful. Exercise and journaling are excellent strategies. Keep it up, and thanks for reading!
Yes self care is important. These are wonderful tips, I would love to take epsome salt.
Hey Swathi, I did it last night. (Warm not hot bath because I’m pregnant. Boo!) But it was so nice. Give it a try! Thanks for reading 🙂
Self care is the most important thing you can do and have. These are wonderful tips! Thank you for sharing-
Hey Tammy, I totally agree! 🙂 Thanks for reading!
I have been wanting to try to keep a journal. I never made the obvious connection to self-care, and am really going to start.
Hey Jenn, give it a shot! Journaling is definitely a low risk form of self care, and can’t hurt to try. Thanks for reading!
I never find time for myself. I have a lot of things to do and selfcare is always pospone on tomorrow!
Hey Catalina, it helps me to keep a lot of lists. That way I can prioritize better and see what can wait while I relax a little. Good luck, and thanks for reading!
This is a great list. I exercise, have blocked useless people, and try to stay positive.
Hey Lois, sounds like you are doing great things! Keep it up, and thanks for reading!
I love this self care tips! It’ll love yourself more and it will lessen the negativity in your life! Everyone needs to know this.
Hey Gervin, so glad you liked the post. Thanks for reading!
I also like writing so writing a journal makes me feel better for myself. It feels satisfying to share my thoughts per day. Thanks for sharing!
Hey Nathalie, I think so too. It feels nice to get it all out there. Thanks for reading!
It is good that once in a while you reward yourself by treating yourself a good food or having a relaxing bath with bathbombs. These are great self-care ideas. We need this! We deserve this stuffs.
Hey Ruth, we definitely deserve it! Thanks for reading!
I find the unfollow/block/unfriend hard but it really can help – these days I am so thankful for the mute on facebook I find I utilise it a lot and it gets rid of those posts which can set you off.
Hey Sarah, I have been doing the same thing, and it’s so freeing. And it’s good for your brain. Why do you need to see the constant internal monologue of an ex-coworker you haven’t spoken to in 5 years??
Amazing post! I love self care and it’s so important! Thank you for these ideas!
Hey there, thanks so much! I appreciate it!
I think everyone needs to read this. I know so many people who are just like me, and they never take care of themselves like they should. It’s a common problem.
Hey Brianne, I believe it. There is so much everyone is trying to process, it’s easy to forget about. Take care of yourself, and thanks for reading!
I love this list. I read for self care. And shop 😉 I do jog daily even though I hate it but sometimes it clears my mind.
Hey Amber, that’s great! Whatever works for you. I would love to get back into running after this pregnancy. Thanks for reading!
Lol I love your suggestion to unfollow or block a friend. So true. We tie ourselves to unhealthy relationships and forget that we are able to or are afraid to untie ourselves and be free!
Hey Abby, it’s been such a weight off for me lately! I’ve been on an unfollow spree with all the political tension. It really helps. Thanks for reading!
I love the garden analogy and it pays to keep up and not let the weeds overtake your mental condition. Making sure you are physically fit also will help to keep you mentally toned.
Hey Melissa, I agree! Our bodies and minds are very much linked. Thanks for reading!
Self-care is so important, yet so many people take it for granted. I always take a few minutes before bed to journal or read for relaxation.
Hey Pam, that sounds like a great practice! I think I am going to read before bed tonight too. Thanks for checking out my post!
I love my epsom salt baths! And so do my teeenagers! ha ha ha … plus I love the idea of a digital detox… unfollowing accounts that no longer serve you… or decluttering your inbox… so good. Thanks for the tips xxx
Hey Louise, bath time is my sanity time! LOL. I’ve also been doing another newsfeed cleanse lately and it helps a ton. Thanks for reading!
Great post, some lovely ideas for self care too. I have been really enjoying exercising at the moment, its definitely been super helpful in making me feel better about myself and has boosted my mood. Especially during lockdown. I also never buy myself anything thats like a ‘treat’ but decided to buy something for me last week and it definitely made me feel good!
Chloe xx
Hey Chloe, that is one of my favorite things too! It feels so nice to treat yourself. Thanks for reading!
Self care is so important, I love the windscreen analogy of how we can be chipped away at. This can creep up on us if we aren’t careful. Some great self care ideas, thanks for sharing!
Hey Alison, thanks so much. Glad you liked my ideas for self care. Hopefully you are able to find some daily time to take care of YOU. Thanks for reading!
Some great self-care tips here, I think it’s super important especially during these difficult times that we have daily self-care practices to keep us sane and also we pass on and encourage children to do the same.
Definitely. I think it’s good for kids to see us taking care of ourselves. Thanks for reading!
Nice tips here.. Self care is really a must for everyone. I love the idea of giving gifts for ourselves. Especially when we did something really tiring. Lol.
We definitely deserve it from time to time! Thanks for reading.
I really do need to focus on my self for a change. I’m a new mom and for the past four months I can’t say I’ve exercised or taken a long relaxing bath or any significant me time. Thanks for the reminder.
It’s definitely hard. I’ve been there, so I know how it goes. Congrats on the baby!
Love this tips. Great idea to buy yourself a gift. It’s important to think about something pleasant even during quarantine!
Thanks! It’s always a good thing to be able to do something positive for yourself.
Self care is a must especially during this crisis. To lessen our exposure to bad news and negative people are my best take aways from this. Let’s be more conscious on what we take in as it deeply affects our reactions and perception on life. Thanks for sharing.
Definitely. I pretty much have to avoid the news altogether. It really helps! Thanks for reading!
I have my girls exercising and journaling on a daily basis and we also make a point to get outside. These are great ideas for self care. Thanks for putting this together.
That’s so great! Sounds like you’re doing an awesome job. Thanks for reading!
These are all great! I think my top 3 go tos from your list are; exercising, positive affirmations and journaling! They have all helped me so much, especially during this quarantine.
They’re all fantastic ways to cope. Good job taking care of you!
These are great ideas for self care! Sometimes I have trouble taking time for myself but I know how important it is, especially now.
It really is! Even just 15-20 minutes a day can make all the difference. Thanks for reading.
Great tips! Self-care is very important to me. I have unfollowed, unfriended and blocked toxic people a few years ago and never regretted it. Life is short. Choose people you spend with wisely.
Absolutely! I agree, 100%. Take care, and thanks for reading!
These tips are so important and so helpful! More important now than before because of the stress and anxiety I am under because of the home quarantine situation. Thanks for Sharing!
No problem!! Thanks for reading! 🙂
These are all good things to keep in mind. Self care is so important and should be a part of our everyday routine!
For sure! Every little bit helps. Even 15 minutes a day. Thanks for reading!
I love your quote! And the way you tied it into this post on self-care was so enjoyable. I plan to go and buy myself a gift. 🙂
Go for it 🙂 Thanks so much for reading!
I think right now we all need a little extra self-care! These are some great suggestions.
Definitely! Thanks for reading!
The first one hit home for me. Unfollowing people on social media really helps me!
It really feels better than it should LOL. But it’s so helpful! Thanks for reading.
Great tips. Thanks for sharing especially with number 9. It’s very important to buy yourself a gift.
It definitely makes you feel special! Thanks for reading.
These are some good tips. I like it that they are very different from other blog posts that I’ve seen before, and that’s refreshing to see. I definitely agree with unfollowing/unfriending some people on Facebook/IG can do wonders for your mental health.
Thank you so much for the compliment. Yes, I have been unfollowing people like crazy lately. It really does help anxiety. Thanks for reading.
I have had to mute a few people on Facebook, for my own sanity. I have the right to share my thoughts and feelings, without being talked down to!
Definitely! You gotta do what you gotta do! Hopefully it helped. Thanks for reading.
All the great tips. We need everything and anything that can help us in these uncertain times. I love the idea of buying gifts for yourself.
It’s maybe not my best long-term strategy, but it is a great way to make yourself feel special and cherished. Thanks for reading!
These are some great ideas. Self care is so important, especially now. I read for my self care since I love it!
That is one of my self care activities too! It’s so relaxing. Thanks for reading!
Really great ideas for practicing self-care! Very well written. Thanks for sharing this important article! 🙂
Thanks! I appreciate it!
These are good ideas. I like no.2 & 4. No. 9 is something I did every year. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate it.
This post is wonderful! I already do a couple of them, but you gave me more ideas! Thank you for sharing
Thank you! I appreciate it. Feel free to share.
Wow I love this post so many great ideas to practise sustainable self-care. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks! I appreciate it! Feel free to share.
Wow. I blog about self-care too and it is really great to see another person on the same page as me. Loved it. Thank you for this post
Thank you! I’m glad we could connect 🙂
Great self-care ideas – I believe you can’t have enough of this in your life. It’s usually the first to fall off our plate when it should be the last.
I totally agree! Once you make it a priority, you wonder why you put it off for so long!
Self-care is what I’m trying to work on everyday as a mom whenever I have the chance. #6 is high on my list but it’s so hard to find time with a baby. But at least I tried to walk once a day with her.
That’s great! Walks are a great low impact exercise. Keep it up!
I find myself nodding as I read through your post. So many important tips for busy moms! Thanks for sharing such a an informative article!
Thank you! I appreciate the kind words.
I have a friend whose birthday is coming up. I am giving her a deck of positive affirmation cards. Hopefully, they will help her smile a little more. 🙂
I hope so too! Thanks for reading!
Wonderful ideas for taking care of yourself.
Thank you!
Journaling is definitely my therapy!
I just picked it up again, and can’t wait to see how it helps!
Self care is so important! I love journaling for self care because it allows me freedom to release anything I need to and to focus on the good. I try to write 5 things in my gratitude journal daily!
I am a terrible journaler, but I just started doing that again a few days ago, and it’s already been so helpful. Thanks for reading!
I love how you suggest to unfriend/unfollow as an act of self care, Interacting with negative people, even if only on social media, can be very draining!
Also- LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the unicorn affirmation deck you recommended. Will be purchasing it for myself and my daughter 🙂
Thanks! I thought it looked so cute! Yes, social media is so toxic. I have had to at the very least snooze/hide many many people.
I’m terrible at self care. I like to fix and help and I get so caught up in that that I overlook myself. I love that your suggestions are small, but meaningful changes that can make a real difference in quality of life. I recently heard about the potential benefits of an Epsom salt bath and would like to try it out on at least a monthly basis.
It really is awesome! I do it at least twice a week and it is so soothing. Thanks for reading!