Self care is for everyone.
It’s for moms, and dads, and teachers, and business executives, and sales people, and retail workers. It is for you, and for me.
Self care is a hot phrase right now. You see it every time you go on your computer. Why is it such a big deal? How can you get it?
Right now, I am writing on my phone lying on the couch. My hair looks like a mix between Loras Tyrell and Ross Poldark. I am mainlining caffeine. My children are lovingly screaming at each other like we’re at Lucifer’s Day Care for Misbehaving Children. I am season 7 Don Draper, no you know what’s left, and surviving by the grace of whoever is up there. Sometimes self care is literally the last thing on the agenda.
As I repeat the Mom mantra- this is just a season, this is just a season- I remind myself: This is okay.
Do you ever feel that way, like self care is the last thing on you mind? Keep reading to find out ways you can change that, and why self care is important.
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Also, I am not a doctor or mental health professional. Just someone who has lived with anxiety for many years who is passionate about sharing her experiences and tips for success. If you are in crisis call your doctor, then click here for some good mental health resources.
Why self care is important
According to an article on Forbes, 23% percent of employees are experiencing burn out. They are stressed, and hanging on by a thread.
I can definitely relate to feeling burned out. My kids are 4 and 2, and they are all over the place. Here are some important things I am reminding myself of. Keep these in mind, if you are in a similar phase of life.
It is okay that I am barely keeping it together.
It’s okay that I want to just lie on the couch after a morning of struggling through chores and dealing with children that were obviously given bath salts by someone.
It is okay that I am so so very grateful to be their mama, but also want to cry with frustration.
It’s okay that even though I just had a weekend away, I am already counting down to our Key West trip in May.
It is okay.
We don’t give ourselves nearly enough grace as parents. We build this image in our head of how things are supposed to be. As much as we love our parents, we always strive to be better, and make a better life for our kids than we ever had. We convince ourselves that everyday is going to be Pinterest perfect, and the house will be clean, and we’re gonna bake, and you won’t get toddler shit on your fingers, and you won’t be picking Goldfish out of your hair during nap time. Because of course they’re going to nap.
The facts.
Listen, maybe 1 in 10 days are like that. But many times that is closer to 1 in 20, or 1 in 50, or 1 in 365, and we have to allow ourselves the same amount of love we give our children.
Would we tell our children they are screwing up?
Do we look at them with resentment because they do something less than perfectly?
Would we go a day without telling them we love them and they are enough?
Mamas, why do we do that to ourselves?
What exactly is Self Care?
So, what is self care?
Self care in essence is the mindful taking time to pay attention to you, not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that ensures that you are being cared for by you.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/skinny-revisited/201805/self-care-101
Self care is not going to look identical for everyone. What works for me may not necessarily work for you. It can be a journey of trial and error to find an activity that is restorative for you.
What is important is finding that something that makes you feel:
- Relaxed
- Calm
- Emotionally well
- Physically well
- Restored
The power of journaling.
To start out with, I recommend getting a good journal. Writing down how you’re feeling has a lot of power. It gets the thoughts out of your brain, and helps you process them. Journaling is truly a powerful practice.
“Why do we journal? Why do we write?
Depending on who you ask, you could hear dozens of different answers. Some people may enjoy the creative process. Some people might enjoy entertaining others. For some, the process may be therapeutic.
That is why I write. I started this blog in January of 2019 to help me navigate a lot of emotions that I was experiencing. Every post I write is infused with a song that is playing on repeat in my heart.
www.diffusingthetension.com/journaling
Is this something that resonates with you? Wanting to write as a form of therapy but don’t know where to start? In this blog post, I will give you some ideas on what types of writing could help you, what to write about, how to get started, and why it’s a great practice.
20 self care examples.
- Take a hot bubble bath with some epsom salt
- Do 30 minutes on the treadmill or lifting weights
- Spend some time reading a good book
- Watch an episode of your favorite show
- Listen to a podcast you love while you fold clothes
- Make a list of your dreams and goals
- Go outside and getting 10 minutes of fresh air
- Do a crossword or logic puzzle
- Go for a hike on a beautiful day
- Have a girls’ night and watch movies
- Spend time with a grandparent
- Sleep in 30 minutes later than normal
- Go to bed 30 minutes earlier than normal
- Sit at a coffee shop and read a book
- Do some coloring or try your hand at painting
- Write a list of things you love about yourself
- Go to a spa and get a massage
- Listen to some soothing music as you’re falling asleep
- Finally make those doctor’s appointments you’ve been putting off
- Practice 10 minutes of meditation
Check out these self care worksheets!
Since I am so passionate about helping people that need self care, I created this 12 page workbook. If you are new to self care, this is the perfect place to start!
Remember: You need to take care of yourself.
I hope this post inspired you to take better care of yourself. We all need, and deserve, adequate self care. Start with one day a week, and work your way up from there. You will definitely notice a difference!
Which of these ideas are you going to try first? Do you have any ideas that I missed? Let me know in the comments, and make sure to share this post with all your stressed out pals.
Try some of these self care examples and start feeling better fast.
Related posts for self care:
Taking control of your health: Only YOU can make you better
How to get fit: 5 tips for exercise when it is the last thing on your mind
Positivity and negativity: How to challenge negative thoughts
I couldn’t agree more. I love the coloring or painting and that visiting our grandparents idea. I do it most of the time.
That’s good. Keep it up! Thanks for reading!
So well put. It is the days when self-care is the farthest from our minds that we need it most.
That is so true! I needed it bad yesterday. I was just touched out. Thanks for reading!
Self-care is definitely important to keep your sanity for sure. These are some great ideas! Thanks for sharing.
No problem! Thanks for reading!
Self-care is so important and I’m glad that people are starting to recognize that.
Me too! We all need it, whether we realize it or not. Thanks for reading 🙂
I love making a list of your dreams and goals – that is TOTALLY self care, regardless of what anyone else thinks!
I think so too! It’s taking care of your heart and soul 🙂 Thanks for reading!
Love these 30 things to do for ourselves. I need to write them down!
Go for it! Let me know if you try any. Thanks for reading!
I love this! Actually, self-care is self-love, and no one can love us better than ourselves.
Very true!! Thanks for reading 🙂
Thanks for such great tips. it is so important for us to slow down and take care of ourselves so that we can be the best version of ourselves to the ones we love.
Absolutely! If you’re not “right” you can’t help care for others. Thanks for reading!
You had me at ‘season 7 Don Draper, love your writing and realness. I often feel completely out of control at my house with 2 under 5, self care is always the last thing on the agenda. Hopefully, the madness in the world lets up soon and I’ll be able to get some in. Great read!
LOL. Thanks! I’m a big TV fanatic. I have 2 5 and under as well, so I hear ya. Hopefully you can start making the time. You deserve it!
Self care is such an important thing. These are great ideas for taking some time for ourselves.
Thanks! Much appreciated!
Amazing tips, I like how you mentioned good ideas which helps to choose things to treat ourselves. I sometime give myself a reward consist of food and break.
Taking breaks is always important! I take frequent work breaks during the day. Thanks for reading!
Thank you for sharing these ideas. Looking forward to giving them a try.
No problem! Let me know how it goes 🙂
Such a great post. These days self care can’t be overstated! And you give lots of examples and resources to help get people started!
That’s for sure. Everyone needs a little more these days. Thanks for reading!
Love this! I’ve been ‘burnt out’ most of my life because I have the hardest time taking care of myself! It wasn’t until I learned that taking care of myself means I can better take care of other people that life started changing for me! Thank you for some great examples because I’ve been pushing myself too hard again, as usual!
No problem! Hopefully you can get a better grasp of self care and start feeling better soon. Thanks for reading!
Yes! I always say self care is so important. I love to read so I make sure I do it daily.
I do too! That’s one of my favorite things. Thanks for reading!
Great post. If you don’t take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of others when needed. Great advice.
Exactly! Put on your own oxygen mask first. Thanks for reading!
Hey Jen! You have a beautiful blog. These tips are great! The importance of self-care can never be overstated, I wish more people took time to do these things. Thanks for this thoughtful post!
No problem! Thank you so much for the kind words. It really means a lot 🙂
These are very useful tips thank you! I agree self care is so important especially when you are burnt out.
Glad you found them helpful! Thank you for reading!
great tips