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Self care is a hot phrase right now. You see it every time you go on your computer. Why is it such a big deal? How can you get it?
Right now, I am writing on my phone lying on the couch. My hair looks like a mix between Loras Tyrell and Ross Poldark. I am mainlining caffeine. My children are lovingly screaming at each other like we’re at Lucifer’s Day Care for Misbehaving Children. I am season 7 Don Draper, no fucks left, and surviving by the grace of whoever is up there. Self care is literally the last thing on the agenda.
As I repeat the Mom mantra- this is just a season, this is just a season- I remind myself: This is okay.
Why is self care important?
According to an article on Forbes, 23% percent of employees are experiencing burn out. They are stressed, and hanging on by a thread.
I can definitely relate to feeling burned out. My kids are 4 and 2, and they are all over the place. Here are some important things I am reminding myself of. Keep these in mind, if you are in a similar phase of life.
It is okay that I am barely keeping it together.
It’s okay that I want to just lie on the couch after a morning of struggling through chores and dealing with children that were obviously given bath salts by someone.
It is okay that I am so so very grateful to be their mama, but also want to cry with frustration.
It’s okay that even though I just had a weekend away, I am already counting down to our Key West trip in May.
It is okay.
We don’t give ourselves nearly enough grace as parents. We build this image in our head of how things are supposed to be. As much as we love our parents, we always strive to be better, and make a better life for our kids than we ever had. We convince ourselves that everyday is going to be Pinterest perfect, and the house will be clean, and we’re gonna bake, and you won’t get toddler shit on your fingers, and you won’t be picking Goldfish out of your hair during nap time. Because of course they’re going to nap.
The facts.
Listen, maybe 1 in 10 days are like that. But many times that is closer to 1 in 20, or 1 in 50, or 1 in 365, and we have to allow ourselves the same amount of love we give our children.
Would we tell our children they are screwing up?
Do we look at them with resentment because they do something less than perfectly?
Would we go a day without telling them we love them and they are enough?
Mamas, why do we do that to ourselves?
What exactly is Self Care?
So, what is self care?
Self care in essence is the mindful taking time to pay attention to you, not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that ensures that you are being cared for by you.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/skinny-revisited/201805/self-care-101
Self care is not going to look identical for everyone. What works for me may not necessarily work for you. It can be a journey of trial and error to find an activity that is restorative for you.
What is important is finding that something that makes you feel:
- Relaxed
- Calm
- Emotionally well
- Physically well
- Restored
The power of journaling
To start out with, I recommend getting a good journal. Writing down how you’re feeling has a lot of power. It gets the thoughts out of your brain, and helps you process them. Journaling is truly a powerful practice.
“Why do we journal? Why do we write?
Depending on who you ask, you could hear dozens of different answers. Some people may enjoy the creative process. Some people might enjoy entertaining others. For some, the process may be therapeutic.
That is why I write. I started this blog in January of 2019 to help me navigate a lot of emotions that I was experiencing. Every post I write is infused with a song that is playing on repeat in my heart.
www.diffusingthetension.com/journaling
Is this something that resonates with you? Wanting to write as a form of therapy but don’t know where to start? In this blog post, I will give you some ideas on what types of writing could help you, what to write about, how to get started, and why it’s a great practice.
Ideas for self care
- Take a hot bubble bath with some epsom salt
- Do 30 minutes on the treadmill or lifting weights
- Spend some time reading a good book
- Watch an episode of your favorite show
- Listen to a podcast you love while you fold clothes
- Make a list of your dreams and goals
- Go outside and getting 10 minutes of fresh air
- Do a crossword or logic puzzle
- Go for a hike on a beautiful day
- Have a girls’ night and watch movies
- Spend time with a grandparent
- Sleep in 30 minutes later than normal
- Go to bed 30 minutes earlier than normal
- Sit at a coffee shop and read a book
- Do some coloring or try your hand at painting
- Write a list of things you love about yourself
- Go to a spa and get a massage
- Listen to some soothing music as you’re falling asleep
- Finally make those doctor’s appointments you’ve been putting off
- Practice 10 minutes of meditation
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I hope this post inspired you to take better care of yourself. We all need, and deserve, adequate self care. Start with one day a week, and work your way up from there. You will definitely notice a difference!
Which of these self care ideas are you going to try first? Do you have any ideas that I missed?
Make sure you share this post! You never know who it might help.
Looking for a safe space to talk about mental health and connect with others? Join my Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1206005752776704/
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great tips