Are you an overwhelmed mom?
Do you feel like you have too much on your plate?
Moms wear so many hats. No wonder we’re overwhelmed! We’re like that guy from the children’s book Caps For Sale, each hat piled one on top of the other, like a Leaning Tower of Pisa of responsibility.
On any given day, I am a:
- personal chef
- friend to play with
- toddler hygiene assistant
- dog and cat wrastler
- personal shopper
- finder of things
You probably noticed that the list doesn’t include the list of responsibilities I have to myself. Honestly, I felt a deep urge for an epsom salt bath just typing that.
So, what happens to your soul when those hats start to fall off? (Or rather, you are forced to chuck them aside.) What happens when you find yourself unable to do the things that are required of you as a partner and mother?
Keep reading to find what you can do to stop feeling so burdened by your responsibilities.
Also, I am not a doctor or mental health professional. Just someone who has lived with anxiety for many years who is passionate about sharing her experiences and tips for success. If you are in crisis call your doctor, then click here for some good mental health resources.
Why are we so overwhelmed?
There is this lie deeply embedded into society that women need to be able to do it all. We need to be able to keep those hats balancing at all times. At any cost, we need to have our shit perpetually together.
And we believe it! So many women believe that myth so damn hard that when they fall victim to chronic illness it robs them of the self-worth and feeling of achievement that they developed in being able to complete their “job requirements.”
It leaves them feeling like a failure. An empty vessel that is supposed to be continually pouring out to others and unable to do so.
How it’s been affecting me
I have been dealing with some health SHIT. Fatigue, anxiety, tum tum drama… I definitely feel overwhelmed. When the anxiety started, there were days I could barely get off the couch, and I had to call my mom to come help with the girls.
I have been falling asleep around 7:30 or 8:00 every night. It seems like everything I eat gives me a stomach ache. This has so effected my quality of life, that on some days, I have to take the hats off my head one by one, and place them atop the head of my sweet angel baby husband or my saint of a mother/mother-in-law. They have to shoulder the burden of tasks that I used to take for granted as muscle memory, almost involuntary in their normalcy.
I can’t describe how this feels. The medical issues are bad enough. But there is a deep shame that claws away at you when you need help functioning. It whispers lies to you all day long. You’re just not trying hard enough. You can do better. You will never get better. Really, you had to call your mom to help again?
What to do when you’re overwhelmed
Friends, let me tell you: Your brain (And society!) designs these lies to rip away your last vestiges of self-worth and you must not listen. Repeat that after me: I. Will. Not. Listen.
Instead, say the following to yourself every day:
- I will overcome this
- It is okay to ask for help
- I deserve self-care
- Today, I can make it through
- I am loved
- I am fierce
- Every day, I feel hope
Your chronic illness does not make you a bad wife, or a bad mom, or a bad friend. In reality, you are a badass because of how bravely you deal with your illness. You are tougher than you realize. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can begin the long process of healing.
10 self care tips for moms (or anyone!)
Here are some self care strategies you can employ on a daily basis. Set a reminder on your phone that you will try one of these each day and make sure to ask someone to hold you accountable!
- Try journaling daily.
- Eat a healthy breakfast.
- Drink plenty of water.
- Go to sleep 15 minutes earlier.
- Call a motivating friend.
- Go for a 20 minute walk.
- Take an epsom salt bath.
- Take 5 extra minutes on your lunch break.
- Spend some time meditating.
- Try out a new hobby.
Keep on going.
The point is, I’ve been there. So many people have. That doesn’t minimize what you’re going through. It just makes it more valid.
So, dry those tears, and keep on going. You deserve the chance to feel joy again.
Are you a bit in over your head? Tell me about it in the comments below, and don’t forget to share this post if you found it helpful!